Fettucini with Porcini, Pancetta & Tomato Cream Sauce

You know I love a good gut-buster. Bring on the heavy cream and red wine. We like to import a little French paradox onto American soil, freedom fries be damned. And this recipe, my friends, turned out so hella phenomenal I just hope you give it a try.

9 oz fresh fettucini
1 lb porcini, roughly cut
3 oz thin-sliced pancetta, cut into thirds
2 plum tomatoes, cored and diced
2-3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large shallot, diced
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp vermouth, plus a splash
4-6 oz heavy cream
4 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped, for garnish
parmesan cheese for shaving over top
salt and pepper

1. Prepare mushrooms ahead of time in a bowl with vermouth and 1 tbsp olive oil. Set aside for 30 minutes.

2. Heat remaining olive oil in a large skillet until almost smoking. Add pancetta, careful to spread around in pan, and lightly brown over medium-high heat.

3. Add shallot, garlic, porcini, and tomatoes and cook over medium heat for several minutes.

4. Add pasta to boiling water. Meanwhile pour a small splash of vermouth into sauce (optional) and cook for a minute, then lower heat to medium-low and stir in heavy cream. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

5. Plate fettucini, ladle over sauce, and garnish with thin shavings of parmesan and a few pinches of parsley. Hook up red wine IV drip. Serves 2 gluttons. Keep pillows nearby.